Recent Discoveries Show That I Have Not Matured At All

I was reading through some of my old blogs from 2007-2010 this morning because I keep getting asked “Why don’t you blog anymore” to which I say, “I don’t know, maybe because I’m dead inside, mind your own business”.  Just kidding, I would never tell someone to mind their own business. Truth is, I’ve never felt less dead inside, but I’ve been wondering if I have forgotten how to write. Let me explain…. I used to have creative ideas and humor flowing through my veins on a daily basis, like cocaine. Or tacos. Or cucumber flavored vodka. Or Chick-fil-a sauce. You get the idea. See, way back when I was blogging all the time, I was surrounded by creative, funny people all day, everyday. It was like fuel to my fire. I worked in the sales department at CBS Radio. I don’t know if all sales people are funny and super creative or if we just brought out the best in each other, but I LOVED going to work everyday because I knew I was going to laugh. A friend of mine who sat in the cubicle next to me sent me a text the other day because a memory showed up in her “time hop” on facebook from 8 years ago. It was a something about me catching her signing up for the Mrs. Nevada pageant (not MISS Nevada) in her cubicle and publicly ridiculing her for it. I can picture the scene – I’m sure I made some sort of announcement to whomever was in the sales pit about my discovery in an attempt to embarrass her. I probably made her a crown and a sash out of items from our promotions department. Every time she called someone a cu*t (she loved the novelty of that word), I probably scolded her and told her that’s not how a beauty queen would talk. And I’m pretty sure I introduced her as Mrs. Nevada for weeks after that. She likely made me ask her fake pageant interview questions and I’m sure I mocked her answers. I’m sure I grilled her on what she’d do for the talent portion and advised her that being a vegan was not a talent, she’d have to go with something else. We picked on each other a lot, but it was always in good fun. Honestly, I don’t remember the details of the whole hilarious ordeal or if any of those things actually happened, but I guaranteed we laughed our asses off about it.

I reminisced on a lot of fun times when I got her text. The only part I didn’t love about going to work back then was the sales job itself. It was a really good job, but nothing is ever perfect. Lucky for me, about 7 years ago I began my transition in to the programming department and found a job that I LOVE, doing morning radio. With that came the sacrifice of cubicle life, 12 hour work days, wearing heels and pleated pants (I was a Gold Level rewards member at Gap and Banana Republic), pointless meetings and most significantly, constant interaction with creative humans. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of creative and funny humans in the programming department. It’s just apples and oranges. Being surrounded by 20 apples for 8-12 hours a day, sharing experiences, ideas and bonding over our suffering in the daily grind that is sales, generated a lot of humor that I was able to put in to writing. Being surrounded by 3 or 4 oranges for 5-7 hours everyday is the best kind of fun, but it has provided less of the intellectual and creative stimulation that get my fingers typing. I don’t think I have forgotten how to write, perhaps I have just been channeling it all in to a different outlet.  What I used to put down on paper or type in a blog, I started expressing in to a microphone.

I couldn’t find any blogs that I wrote after 2010 because wordpress deleted everything when I didn’t renew my old website. But after reading through my posts from almost 10 years ago, I’ve made a few discoveries…

  • I have not matured. At all.
  • My memory is really bad. As I was reading some of my old blogs, it felt like the first time I’d seen them.
  • I used to have a lot more on my mind and so many curious thoughts. Now a days my mind is obsessed with a short list of important things that include but are not limited to: taco trucks, missing my niece and nephews, finding a new morning show job, wondering why my dog sometimes eats her own poop, DIY projects, finding an outlet for my creativity and also a cure for adult acne.
  • I wonder where the expression “now a days” came from.
  • I’m still obsessed with saving money – I wrote 3 blogs about it in 2009. It still annoys everyone around me.
  • I had similar fears 8 years ago that I do today. Including but not limited to gaining weight and not winning in fantasy football.
  • I still feel that “including but not limited to” is an important disclaimer
  • The same things still make me laugh – including but not limited to farts and sketch comedy.
  • I need to update my wardrobe. I still wear an ugly shirt that I blogged about 8 years ago because everyone made fun of it. In fact, here it is today. Mostly, I’m just happy it still fits….   
  • I still pick on the people that I really like
  • I got through rough times back then and I always will
  • My dog, Tayler, has aged really well. Beanie has not.

It’s pretty easy to see the progression of our lives over the years because of social media. It’s also really easy to see the spoiler of your favorite movie or Awards show. Or find out who won Nick’s heart on the most boring season ever of The Bachelor. Social media can be a nasty bitch. You never have an excuse for missing someone’s birthday. You have to see ugly photos of yourself that your friends tagged you in. You can’t lie about your whereabouts because you know that one friend who checks in EVERYWHERE is going to check you in with her on facebook. You can’t like someone’s photo or they’ll assume you want to date them. God forbid you like a photo that’s more than a month old, you’re now obligated to marry that person. And when that one friend posts a passive aggressive status update about knowing who her “real friends are” you have to text her and ask if she’s mad at you. We witness strangers’ drama unfold, romances developing and the awkward relationship status updates, the professional photoshoot from when your friend’s baby turned 41 days old, endless political debates, photos that look nothing like us because we added so many filters, AMAZING deals on Ray-Bans, how to get a free $1000 Wal-Mart gift card and the worst offense – updates from the couples who share one facebook account. Social media is the best and worst invention of the past decade. I love it and hate it for the same exact reasons.

You’re likely reading this because I posted it on social media, so I guess we’ve come full circle. I’ll wrap this up by sharing a few more very recent discoveries because I’ve learned more in the last 18 months than I have in the entire decade prior. I took the greatest risks I’ve ever taken. Ate the most tacos I’ve ever eaten. Made the most sacrifices I ever have. I’ve tested the limits of my strength. I’ve learned the depths of my weakness. That weakness includes southern gentlemen and bread pudding. I’ve made strong new friendships. I’ve maintained lifelong friendships from a difficult distance. I gained 13 pounds then lost 14 pounds then gained 2 pounds – it’s a vicious cycle. Mosquitoes LOVE me, but not in the way I want to be loved. In Texas there are frogs that peep at night to make sure you don’t fall asleep and I hate them. You can literally put taco seasoning on anything (more about that in another blog). I’ll never be someone who says  ya’ll. I’ll always be someone who says dude. Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder. Chick-fil-a is all it’s cracked up to be. Whataburger is not. Literally ANYONE can become President. You can throw a rock from any place in Houston and hit a Mattress Firm. Texas really does have the best BBQ. Bars closing at 2am can actually be good for you. And the most important thing I’ve learned, people are almost always willing to help you, you just have to let them.